I’ve written about this topic several times before, but this is a refresher we all need from time to time (I include myself!).
I was sitting with a small group of people at breakfast recently, most of whom I had just met, and was introduced as a specialist in “Understanding and Working with Difficult People.” Some comment was made about what all difficult people might have in common. My answer was something like, “As a base all difficult behavior is rooted in ego.”
I think one of the problems we get into when we think about the realm of the ego is that we too often associate the concept with ‘egotistical.’ Certainly people with BIG egos can and often are perceived as ‘DIFFICULT’ by others. The truth is though, that EGO is a part of all of our lives.
Another truth is that there is a marked difference between EGO and SELF-WORTH and SELF-CONFIDENCE (two of my Seven Keys to “Understanding and Working with People).
A good sign that our ego is impacting us and others in less than ideal ways is Negativity. And negativity can come in many forms – judgment and blame, defensiveness, feeling down, poor self-worth, lack of confidence, and so on.
One of the most amazing aspects of the ego is its tendency (probably not a strong enough term) to point away from itself and say in essence – you, it, them, the world, providence, luck, etc., are the problem, NOT ME! Certainly NOT ME!
One of the most important things we can do for ourselves is to start recognizing when our ego is impacting us because it is only then that we can truly begin to make changes in our life. We certainly can say “He (she, it, fate, etc.,) are treating us unfairly or badly, and that may even be true, but YOU are the only person who can actually change that and change starts with recognizing that our ego is involved in the proceedings – Feeling negative? Yup, your ego is involved.
So-o-o-o, when you find yourself pointing at someone or something else as the cause or root to your problem(s), the point here is to look inward (Self-Awareness – also one of the Seven Keys), find your self-worth and self-confidence, and begin to make the effort to change things because it isn’t likely He (she, it, fate, the world, etc.) is going to make that effort for you.
You ARE the catalyst for your life.
Thanks for listening – comments and ideas always welcome.