You may have to deal with a REALLY difficult person in your life – a relation, a coworker or boss, a stranger, an acquaintance. You still shouldn’t tell them they’re difficult. Remember “Negativity breeds Negativity.”
This advice directly relates to my previous blog and two Key Ideas relevant to “Understanding and Working with Difficult People,”
Difficult people do not see themselves as DIFFICULT.
If you see a person as being difficult, it is most likely that they will see you as being difficult.
There are better ways to let them know you would appreciate a different approach. Always come from as positive and king perspective as possible:
“John, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t gossip in my presence. I think it undermines our team and what we are trying to accomplish here.”
“Beth, I would appreciate it if we could discuss concerns without raising our voices.”
“Steve, I think we can find a more positive way to approach Ted about this concern.”
Virtually everything to do when dealing with a difficult person has to do with communications – theirs AND yours. Often we add to the mix when we don’t even realize it. It is VERY important to try to think about HOW you say something and how it might be taken by another person.
Positivity breeds Positivity.
P.S. For detailed discussions of the ideas found in these blogs and many, many more see the list of my books by going to the tab above. There is also an extensive Bibliography of the Difficult People Literature on our website www.difficultpeople.org and in the back of all of our books. One of my favorites is Sandra Crowe’s “Since Strangling Isn’t an Option…”