This is one of those questions that you should ask of yourself anytime you find yourself in a difficult situation. And it is not an easy thing to do because we don’t like to think we are afraid.
Here is a very interesting perspective that I have seen pop up in any number of sources recently and I think it is something we could all use to consider from time to time:
There are only two fundamental emotions – love and fear.
And to really tax yourself take this idea a bit further:
In any given situation we are in we choose one or the other.
So perhaps the question to ask yourself when you are having difficulties with someone is:
Am I choosing ‘fear’ or am I choosing ‘love’ as my basis for dealing with this person?
If I want to choose ‘love’ how will I respond or react in this situation with this person?
Try practicing this a time or two as you work through a difficulty with someone and see how all this comes together in your mind and how it affects your emotions. In some ways it seems like this should be straight forward and simple, but it isn’t. You will likely find that you will struggle with this quite a bit because our tendency is simply to react. So if and when you react – then ask yourself – “Was my reaction coming from ‘love’ or from ‘fear’?” And then, “How can I change this to something that comes from a kinder, gentler place within myself.”
It’s a start. Think about it.