Monthly Archives: November 2011

That Black-haired Beauty and I: Head-Butt Love

I was just settlin’ on my easy chair (that’s what they used to call recliners in the old days) for my afternoon ‘constitutional,’ when that Black-haired Beauty (our dog Arwen if you haven’t been reading) decided it was time for some serious lovin’. She came up to me and pushed her head into my leg, so I reached out and started petting her about the ears, etc. Then…well, I got the ‘head-butt love’ request.

Strangely what she does rather than be content with a bit of head scritchin’ is she pushes the top of her head further into your leg, nose down, as if to say, “Yeah, that’s it my man, now keep it up.” And no matter how much petting, scratching, pats, etc., you give she keeps that head pushin’ in for more. It typically goes on for more than just a coupla minutes.

Not sure whether any of you out there have ever encountered such a behavior in your dogs, but it’s obvious she knows what she wants and isn’t shy about asking for it.

Truth is, we can all use more lovin’ on a regular basis. And there are certainly occasions when a good ‘head-butt lovin’ would be just the right tonic for what ails us. Then again I suppose it takes a bit of courage to butt your head into someone and ask them to scritch behind your ears.

Truth is, too, that difficult people could probably use even more ‘lovin’ than us regular folks. Now I wouldn’t necessarily recommend that you butt your head into their leg or stomach and ask for it, but did you know that over a long period of time, if you give them a chance, some, maybe even many, difficult people will respond to positivity, or ‘lovin’’ on a general scale: it’s called, appreciation and recognition.

Instead of thinking negative thoughts and avoiding them, why not give them a bit of head buttin’ by going out of your way to say ‘Thank you,’ when they do something for you; or say something nice in passing, or give them a pat on the back, or a howdy do, or…well, you can come up with lots of ideas.

Truth is, it works. Yeah, it may take awhile, some people are hurtin’ pretty deep, but most people respond to what they get (not what they give out). Give them something to respond to.


Joe Koob

P.S. Sometimes we ignore those doggie head-butts at 5:00 AM. She gets the point and back settles in for awhile.

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Filed under That Black-haired Beauty and I, Understanding Difficult People