Monthly Archives: August 2013

Negativity breeds…

arwen1…Not such good stuff. Or so that Black-haired Beauty feels:

This is actually one of Arwen’s thoughtful poses, but she does look like she is reacting to something.

I get down sometimes because I see far too much negativity. People yelling at each other, honking horns, being inconsiderate, saying hurtful things, doing hurtful things… I could name a dozen incidents in the last few days, and if I was purposefully listing — many more than that. Sometimes it seems like we just can't escape from what's happening around us; even worse we feel completely un-empowered to do anything about it. And that's not even considering everything in the news every day that focuses on all the negativity we see around the world.

Is the world really this negative? Is there no point in making any effort?

We always have a choice — a choice about what we are adding to the world. That is why I have my oft-quoted saying: "Negativity breeds Negativity; Positivity breeds Positivity."

Sometimes those very small choices we make really do make a difference. I know kindnesses make a great deal of difference to me. I think I am a nice guy. I try to be kind to people. I try to help people out when I can, and I try to seize the opportunity to choose kindness as often as I may, but there are always more opportunities if we pay attention and make the effort IN SPITE of what is happening around us.

When I talk about my new book, I tell people the central point, the over-all arching focus of "Difficult Men" is POSITIVITY. There is a tremendous amount of specific recommendations and information in this book, but the focus is on the choices we make (women and men).

Yesterday I was thinking about the fact that far too often I let negativity get to me. Especially that I accept other people's negativity towards me. I'm NOT that guy. I'm not the words that someone else forces on me; I'm not their blame. That is their stuff. I'm going to try to remember this from now on.

There are several exercises in my new book that focus on delieneating who you are fundamentally as a person. I designed these for seminars because knowing yourself is absolutely key to being able to bring that great positive fundamental YOU to the surface, especially when the world and other people are difficult and more especially when other people try to tell you differently.

That Black-haired beauty doesn't say much, but you can tell how she feels. She just said, "Woof!" I'll take that as agreeing.

Then again, maybe she just wants to go out.

Best always,

Joe Koob


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